Archives 02/21/03
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Children with Broken Toys..a dedication
Now That's Funny
About Mac
Mono, the Joys of :-p
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Pardon Me, Do You Have The Time?
Do Unto Others??
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I'm Scared of SUV's
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More of Macs Wisdom =) or lack thereof..
"Dreamhouse"
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Brother Against Brother
War, or Battle?

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My friend Ozzie

Be Encouraged, and Be An Encouragement

(Every once in a while something happens to remind me, God is in charge.)

~Thanks Ozzie, for everything..

The internet has always been, and still is a gold mine of information. Anything you ever needed to know, and a whole lot you never needed to know can be found there..

Recently, I was wandering around the internet, fascinated by the bright lights and big city noises, so to speak. While searching through this, often times, dangerous maze, I ran across someone interesting. He was saying some, 'not so nice' things, but I wasn't really thinking clearly. Just searching for something to fill the boredom and discouragement of life.  My life.

To make a long story short, I chatted with this person for a while. I, actually, was quite jealous of his freedom, and seeming lack of conscience. He actually made me want to just stop trying, throw my morals out. To simply do whatever I wanted to. Whatever felt or looked good.

Some time went by, and an amazing thing happened. I went online, bored and discouraged, and saw that he was online. What would we talk about today? Hate, disunity, crime, sex, parties, drugs, etc. ? The choices would be limitless, I thought.

I instant messaged him, and to my surprise, he had news to tell me. It seemed that since the last time I spoke to him, amazing and great things had happened to him. He began to describe his past to me. His upbringing, and experiences. Although, he knew nothing of me and mine, his story sounded like a carbon copy of mine. With the exception of just a few minor details, it was me. I was so shocked.

He went on to say that he had rededicated his heart to God, and was so happy. His whole story...  his enthusiasm, was exactly the encouragement I was seeking when I met him online that first day.

Hearing of his wicked and sinful ways, was not a good thing. It messed with my mind and spirit, but God somehow turned the whole thing around for my good. (Yes, yet again. He keeps doing that..  LOL)

Ozzie, has turned out to be a friend who talks with me, prays with me, and encourages me just by being himself. I know that he is not perfect, but he is a true friend, and blessing. Surely, we were all meant to be there as supports, examples, and mentors for one another.

Thanks again, Ozzie. Love ya bro

 
Baking a Cake-
"Life is Good..eat cake"
 
A young man is telling his grandmother how everything is going wrong.  School problems, friend problems, family problems, financial problems, severe health problems, etc.
 
Meanwhile, Grandma is baking a cake.  She asks her grandson if he would like a snack, which, of course, he does.

"Here, have some cooking oil."

"Yuck," says the young man. 

"How about a couple of raw eggs?"

"Gross, Grandma!"

"Would you like some flour then?  Or maybe baking soda?"

"Grandma, those are all yucky!"

To which Grandma replies:  "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves.  But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!  God works the same way.  Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times.  But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good.  We just have to trust Him, and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful." 

God is crazy about you!  He send you flowers every spring, and a sunrise every morning.  Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen.  He can live anywhere in the world, but He chose your heart. 

 

 
 
 
Church Bulletin Bloopers:
 
1.  Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet.  All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.
2.  The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
3.  A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.  Music will follow. 
4.  Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm at the First Presbyterian Church building.  Please use large double door at the side entrance. 
5.  Pastor is on vacation.  Massages can be given to church secretary.
6.  Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. 
7.  The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir. 
8.  Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child. 
9.  Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children. 
 

Winter Scene

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them that are called according to His purpose."        ~Romans 8:28 KJV

 

God, did You see that? Are You paying attention? Some bad things are going on. Did You watch over this election, at all? My back still hurts. Does that matter to You? What are You doing up there?

Picture this.. Two churches. One flourishing and stable, while the other never seems to be able to get off of the ground.

One has the finances it needs and the other one struggles just to keep the lights on.

One starts to go under for the last time, and the other starts struggling.

Something is shifting. As the struggling church chokes and dies, the once flourishing church flounders and goes through its worst times.

Now, please know, I am just as in the dark about the reasons why things go wrong as the next guy. Maybe, more-so. I am just pointing out the truth in Romans 8:28, as it applies to my life.

The once flourishing, now floundering church almost closes. Most of the congregation go on to other churches. This once proud, maybe even, a bit arrogant church is nearly wiped out.

Longtime, and strong Christians wonder and ache over this turn of events. A lot of unanswered and nagging questions exist.

Many people from this congregation wander until they find the little closed church and decide to occupy it.

Months later, there is a strong and flourishing, yet humble little church where once one had ceased to exist.

There is also a new and a bit improved church where the proud church once worshipped. A humbling experience has taught them much, they have returned to basics and are blessed once again.

Perhaps God used both situations to bring about the other ones good. The results are obvious in this case.

Then, there's politics.. Why? Oh, why did that one get in? God, You know they are evil and the worst possible thing for the office.

Fact..yes, He knows what kind of a person was voted in. Another fact..He knows what He is doing.

I, personally, had mixed feelings about this past election. Some good and sweet victories, and some results that, quite frankly, scare me to death.

I am reminded, however, that although politics are often times dishonest, evil, and simply way out of hand. If we, who love the Lord, and are called to His purpose, will trust and obey, He will use all things for our good.

I'm upset, I'm even furious, at some of our choices as a nation. Yet, the same God who teaches and advances me, through adversity so often, is in charge of this. All things are in His ultimate control. Why? What is He doing? As I've heard it said, and have said myself, "Maybe sometimes, it's just not any of our business."

Trust Him, He cares for you and me.

 

Why Do We Keep Buying The Advertisements???
 
Okay, I'm going to lay it out for you here in print.  All of the facts listed are pretty easy to find on the internet.  That is, as long as you are not looking at a site that the cola companies have paid for....
 
"Water, or Coke??"
Water-
1.  75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.
2.  In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger. 
3.  Even MILD dehydration will slow down ones metabolism as much as 3%.
4.  One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.
5.  Lack of water is the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
6.  Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
7.  A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or a printed page.
8.  Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.
 
Coke-
1.  In many states in the USA, the highway patrol carries two liters of Coke in the trunk to remove blood from the highway after a car accident. 
2.  You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke and it will be gone in 2 days. 
3.  To clean a toilet:  Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl, and let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean.  The citric acid in Coke removes stain from vitreous china.
4.  To remove rust spots from chrome car bumbers:  Rub the bumper with a crumpled piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.
5.  To clean corrosion from car battery terminals:  Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion. 
6.  To loosen a rusted bolt:  Apply a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes. 
7.  To bake a moist ham:  Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake.  30 minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptious brown gravy. 
8.  To remove grease from clothes:  Empty a can of Coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle.  The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains.  It will also clean road haze from your windshield. 
 
For your information:
1.  The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid.  Its pH is 2.8.  It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days.  Phosphoric acid also leeches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis. 
2.  To carry Coca-Cola syrup, (the concentrate), the commercial truck must use the hazardous material place cards reserved for highly corrosive materials. 
3.  The distributors of Coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years.
 
Now the question is...would you like a glass of water?
Or Coke??
  

Toilet, Opening & Closing Lid

   I read an article in our local newspaper today,  and, lucky you, I'm going to address it.  It's the story of a bathroom...
   Have you ever been in a store trying to spend your hard earned money, when that familiar urgency hits you?  You know you must have relief, and soon.  That cappacino has taken effect, and its time has come.  You approach a store clerk and politely, but desperately ask, "Where is your restroom?"
   Does this sound familiar, so far?  Stay with me, it gets better.
   Upon asking him/her this slightly embarrassing question, the clerk looks at you strangely, and either answers honestly and tells you that they do not have a 'public' restroom, or he/she says, and I love this one, "I'm sorry, we don't have a restroom".  Do they honestly expect us to believe that they work the entire day with their legs crossed, dreaming of quitting time when they can go home and finally relieve themselves?  While this would explain some of the attitudes and strange faces we get from them sometimes, it's really a complete and total crock.
   How many parents of small children have been denied access to the facilities when their children were obviously on the verge of having an accident?
   Now, allow me to take you back to the article I read in todays newspaper.  It is great news!  Our fair city has just finished building a beautiful new facility downtown.  A restroom for all of those shoppers who have been left without a pot to........well, you know.  A very nice brick structure.  Beautiful, and modern.  All at a cost of just $145, 000.
   Yikes!
   One local businessman, the owner of a fine downtown art gallery, had this to say.  "When a customer has to leave downtown to use the restroom, we have lost that customer."
   Guess what?  His art gallery does not have a public restroom either.  Does that light anyone elses fuse?  Hello?  I, personally, have been to this mans incredible gallery.  It's filled with amazing pieces.  Ranging in price from a few dollars, to several thousand dollars.  My question is, if he truly believes that there is a need downtown for public restrooms, and that the lack of public facilities hurts his business, why is it that his store has no public restroom? 
   While I understand that there is the cost of upgrading the private restroom, and the personal maintenance of said toilet.  Does this justify spending $145, 000 of taxpayers money?  Our money.  The very people that the restrooms are for?  Yes.  Yet, for the purpose of enhancing the private business owners establishment.  We're paying for their business boost.
   To say that I am outraged is making too light of the subject.  I cannot believe that people stand for this sort of thing. 
   The average American people, spend a combined total of billions of dollars a year in retail purchases.  Is it asking too much that the businesses that are taking in this money shoulder the cost of acquiring and maintaining a public restroom in their own place of business? 
   A personal gripe...yes, but is it unreasonable?
   Do me, and yourself a favor.  The next time you are at a place of business that does not have a public restroom, make a very PUBLIC complaint.  If they can't, (won't actually), maintain a public restroom, perhaps they are not worthy of our patronage at all.
   Just something to think about........
 

Musical Note 3

Our musical director wasn't happy with the performance of one of our percussionists.  Repeated attempts to get the drummer to improve failed.
   Finally, in front of the entire orchestra, the director said in frustration, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument, they take it away, give him two sticks and make him a drummer!"
   A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section:  "And if he can't handle that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."
 
                                                         -Readers Digest,  August 2002

Why do they lock gas station
bathrooms?  Are they afraid
somebody will clean them?
 
                              -Readers Digest August 2002
 
 
 

Illustration: A round of golf

What Goes A-'Round' Comes Around
Barry and Will were having a slow round of golf because
the two female players in front of them managed to get into
every sand trap and rough on the course.  Finally, Barry
said, "I'll go ask if we can play through."
He walked up the fairway, got halfway to the ladies,
then turned around and came back, his face bright red. 
"I can't do it,"  he said.  "One of them is my wife, and the
other one is my mistress!  You'd better go instead."
Will walked toward the ladies, got halfway there,
turned around and came back.  "Small world,"  he said.
 
-Readers Digest August 2002
 
 

They have finally found a diagnosis for my condition!  I have recently been diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. . . . Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it goes.   I decide to wash the car.  I start toward the garage and notice the mail on the table.  Ok, I'm going to wash the car, but first I'm going to go through the mail.  I lay the car keys down on the desk, discard the junk mail, and notice the trash can is full.  Ok, I'll just put the bills on my desk and take the trash can out, but since I'm going to be near the mailbox anyway, I'll pay these few bills first.  Now, where is my checkbook?  Oops, there's only one check left.  My extra checks are in my desk.  Oh, there's the Coke I was drinking.  I'm going to look for those checks.  But first I need to put my Coke further away from the computer. Oh, maybe I'll pop it into the fridge to keep it cold for a while.  I head towards the kitchen and my flowers catch my eye - they need some water. I set the Coke on the counter and . . . uh-oh . . . there are my glasses.  I was looking for them all morning.  I'd better put them away first.  I fill a container with water and head for the flower pots . . . Aaaaaagh!
Someone left the TV remote in the kitchen.  We'll never think to look in the
kitchen tonight when we want to watch television, so I'd better put it back in
the family room where it belongs.  I splash some water into the pots (and onto the floor), throw the remote onto a soft cushion on the sofa, and head back down the hall, trying to figure out what it was I was going to do.

End of Day: The car isn't washed, the bills are unpaid, the Coke is sitting on the kitchen counter, the flowers are half-watered, the checkbook still only has one check in it, and I can't seem to find my car keys.  When I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY LONG!!!

Please copy this and send to everyone you know because I can't remember who I have already sent it to.

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later..

"Da-ad"

"What?"

"Im thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"

"No. You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes after that..

"Da-aaaad"

"WHAT?"

"Im THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

"I told you, NO! If you ask again, Ill have to spank you!!"

Five minutes after that..

"Daaaa-aaaad."

"WHAT!?!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"

The boy thought it over and said, "Well, Ill run in and out, and in and out, and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heavens sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'."

    One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

   The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I cant dear", she said. "I have to sleep in Daddys room."

   A long silence was broken, at last, by his shaky little voice, "The big sissy."

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read,  "and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'the sky is falling, the sky is falling!'."

The teacher paused, then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"

One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said, 'No way! A talking chicken!'."

5 Rediculous Places You Can't Smoke
 
Sure smoking is bad for you, but come on....
1. State prison, Maine.  A cigarette fetches $10 on the black market there.
2. Your yard, Montgomery County, Md.  If smoke wafts onto your neighbor's property, you face a $750 fine. 
3. Bars, Eugene, Ore.  Following Californias lead, this city proclaimed "last call" for all who thought a drink and a smoke went hand in hand. 
4. Bowling alleys, Putnam County, N. Y.  The ban affects exactly one establishment. 
5. Your co-op, 180 West End Ave., NYC.  If new owners light up, the board will boot them.
 
(Excerpts from Readers Digest August 2002 Issue)

   "What do you have to do to become a doctor?"  my six year old granddaughter once asked. 
   Her dad, seeing an opportunity, said, "You have to do extremely well in school, take a lot of math and science, get into an excellent college, make the highest grades possible and then go on to med school and follow that with an internship.  Then you can start your own practice.  Honey, as smart as you are, you can be anything you want to be."
   Erin gave all of this a moments thought and then asked, "What do you have to do to be queen?"
 

   Hey campers.  Just want to make a quick note of an old book.  It's not about monsters, wizards, or murder.  It's a book that was read to the class when I was in grade school.  All these years I've remembered it, and now I'm reading it to my own, 7 year old, son.
   The book, "Follow My Leader", by James B. Garfield.  It's a fictional story about an average 11 year old boy, who through childhood mischievousness is blinded.  It's a very real tale of his struggles and triumphs, written by someone who should know. 
   James Garfield, himself, overcame the 'handicap' of blindness.  He wrote this book with his own feelings and memories in mind.  It's written in a way that allows you to feel what the main character, Jimmy, is feeling. 
   The original printing of this book was way back in 1957, so don't be surprised that some of the language and slang, is a little dated.  Yet, a little bit of the past is kind of refreshing.  The book reeks of wholesome, and decent times. 
   If you can find it at your local library, pick up this book.  It's really easy reading, and it'll make you be thankful for what you have, understand the blind a little better, and make you feel good, all at once. 
   Enjoy.....

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"Spiderman"
Starring- Tobey McGuire
   Recently saw the film.  Loved it.  'Nuff said.
   But...that would just be too easy.  Too much should be said for this new version, of an old idea.
   First of all, Tobey McGuire is an awesome Peter Parker.  He is totally believable in an unbelievable role.  When he discovers and explores his mutant abilities, you believe he is shocked and amazed.  It's not an easy thing to pull off a live action part in a comic book story.
   Mr. Osborn, the villain, is so evil, you are scared of him before he even turns bad.  They picked the perfect guy for this role, as well.  He is the Green Goblin.  One look at his scary face, and you're thankful for the mask when it comes later. 
   Overall, I was impressed and entertained by this movie.  It had quite a lot of action, but was mild enough for my son to watch it, too.  The violence was tastefully done, and in a way so as not to scare young viewers. 
   So, hey, when you get the opportunity, on pay-per-view or when the video is released check this one out.  Obviously folks who aren't into these kinds of flicks won't be interested, but for those with tendencies toward the comic type stories.....You'll Love It!!
  

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